How Chasing Money or Love Can Make you Miserable?
They tell you it is bad to chase money, but never really give you a solid reason for you to follow that advice. Money won’t bring you happiness or will make you greedy aren’t things you seemed to have a problem with. So, you continued your chase without realising that this way you will never feel fulfilled. The reason, I tell you, is not money. It is kinda great to have money, but it is the chase that drives you towards an unhappy life. A life where you keep on chasing one thing after the other and ruin the process. To be honest, we are all addicted to the chase, not realising that it is the reason behind our constant state of anxiety and agony.
Everyone among us is chasing something. Most of us are after money, some chase love, some chase fame, some chase respect and then there are fools like my past self that chase happiness. The sad thing is none of the chasers is happy at the moment, they just believe that they will be happy with their lives once they complete their chase. Although, that is never the case as one chase ends to start another.
The chase in Relationships
The addiction to chasing is the reason why most people tend to go after a love interest that is hard to get. We don’t crave the person so much, as we do the chase. Modern-day relationships are the perfect example of how much people love the chase. Look at any unhappy couple around you and you will find a chaser and the one being chased. You might’ve experienced something similar in the past or maybe living through it in the present.
If you are living through a chase in your current relationship, figure out which party you are and act accordingly.
If you are the person chasing another one, ask yourself why are you chasing them. The answer might be something along the lines of you love them, but dig deeper. Eventually, you will realise that your entire relationship was based on a chase, you thought that you can’t have the other person so you got obsessed with the idea of having them.
If you don’t realise it yet, you might in the future and for then know that ‘No good relationship can be built through a Chase. So, when you realise that, stop chasing and let your relationship take the natural course.
If you are on the other side and are being chased, find out why would the other person chase you? If it is for any of your qualities, then stop sitting on the high horse and give your partner the love they deserve. On the other side, if your emotional unavailability is the reason why people chase you, then you really need to work on yourself before getting involved with anyone.
See, even love is not free from the chase. Some are chasing love, while others love being chased and neither is healthy. If you chase someone before a relationship, you will either lose interest in them when you get them or if they are still not too accessible to you after the relationship, you will never stop chasing them. It is a lose-lose situation, maybe that is why they tell you to set the ones you love free.
From one Cliche to Another
I talked about money, then relationships and now we are at happiness. As I said earlier in the article, fools like me are addicted to chasing happiness which is equally bad. Chasing happiness is bad because you get so involved in the idea of always being happy once you achieve something that you miss out on everyday bliss. Like, take my example, I was so obsessed with attaining happiness through Meditation and Buddhist Philosophies, that I lost sight of who I was and the incredible teaching. I gave myself a really hard time for not being good at meditation and for not sticking to the principles. In my pursuit of happiness, I pushed it even further away. I promised you another cliche, right? You remember they say ‘The pursuit of happiness in a negative feeling’?
Back to the beginning
Now, that I have established that the chase is prevalent in every aspect of our lives. I must also tell you that, life is a whole lot better without it. Focusing on the now, instead of the chase is all you need to do to break free of this vicious circle. To be honest, it won’t be easy even after you put your mind to it. You will always come across things to chase and you will be enticed to do so, you might even begin to do it. But, know that you can bring yourself back. You can learn to stop chasing, by stopping yourself again and again from doing it. It will be hard and you will keep failing, but the moments in between when you are not failing and enjoying what’s in front of you are everything.
That is all the advice I can offer, be present and you might not even feel the need to chase. If you need some suggestions on how to be present refer to How to Meditate without Meditating. As a parting note, remember that- ‘Money can buy us happiness, only if we stop chasing it’.